“With a big enough why you can overcome any how.” (James Clear, Atomic Habits) This quote from one of most influential self help books of the past decade serves to remind us of the power of understanding why you are doing something.
Next week I will start the Exodus 90 program in earnest. (For more about the Exodus 90 program see my Intro blog post on it.) I have several preparatory task that must be completed this week. Chief among them is writing what the program calls a “My Why” statement (Link). This statement helps clarify your intentions for the program and serves as a reminder of why it’s important to stick with it through the tough times. The “My Why” statement has four criteria:
- Name a dependency or attachment that you hope to be free from.
- Name a person(s) you love that you want to be free for.
- Explain how your freedom will be at the service of those you have named.
- State how the freedom you desire will aid you in living out God’s plan for your life.
The purpose of this post is to share my journey of creating a “My Why” statement and share the final product.
To create my “My Why” statement, I started by making a list of attachments that I wanted to be free from. This included things like Twitter, YouTube, shopping, and idle internet surfing. For each attachment, I considered several criteria. First, I looked at the amount of time I spent on it each week, including both direct time (the actual time spent on the activity) and indirect time (the amount of time it occupied my thoughts and affected my mood and behavior).
I also considered the theme of the content that was drawing me in and the negative consequences of each attachment. I was sure to be specific when discussing the negatives consequences. I named the specific behavior that I demonstrated, who was affected, what the result of the behavior and approximately what time it occurred.
After going through this process, I was able to identify the attachments that were holding me back and create a solid base for my “My Why” statement. My “My Why” statement included a list of the dependencies and attachments that I wanted to be free from, the people I wanted to be free for (primarily my wife and children) and how my freedom would be at their service.
The last piece of the puzzle that I needed to tackle was to identify how the freedom I desired would help me live out God’s plan for my life. By far this was the hardest for me. Even today as I write this I’m not exactly sure what God’s plan for me is. However, I can deduct from the way the Holy Spirit has moved me during my reading of the bible that being a Husband and a Father is likely at the top of the list.
With all of the pieces in place I constructed this “My Why” statement.
“I want to break free from my dependency on Twitter and Youtube in order to be a better husband and father to my wife and kids. I recognize that my obsession Politics and News has taken up a significant amount of my time and mental energy, and has often led to conflicts and negative emotions in my relationships.
By breaking free from this attachment, I hope to have a greater quantity of time to spend with my family and be more mentally available for them. I want to be able to listen and engage with them fully, without my mind being dominated by politics or culture war issues. I also want to improve my mood and be more focused on my wife when we finally get some time alone.
I believe that breaking free from this obsession will help me live out God’s plan for my life as a husband and father. I want to honor God by being the best husband and father that I can be, and I know that this freedom will allow me to do that more effectively.”
I hope that by sharing my journey, I can inspire and encourage others on their own path towards spiritual and personal development.