As a reminder, this post is part of a series about my experience with Exodus 90, which is a 90-day spiritual exercise for men focused on prayer, asceticism, and fraternity. In this post, I delve deeper into fraternity and how I made a bad decision for my brothers.
One of the unique aspects of Exodus 90 is that fraternity is built into the program. The purpose of the fraternity is to support, encourage, challenge, and show mercy to one another. My fraternity meets virtually on Sunday nights at 7.
Two Sundays ago, which was our second meeting, we had a very important decision to make: how would we decide which ascetic discipline to relax on Sundays. After a short discussion, the fraternity decided to allow a different brother to pick the discipline each week. Since we meet on Sunday nights, the choice will be effective for the following Sunday. But who would go first?
Before I could ask the question, our group leader said, “Todd, you can go first.” The group looked at me in anticipation. I didn’t have an answer prepared ahead of time but without hesitation I blurted out sweets, my indulgence of choice. As soon as the words left my lips however, it occurred to me that the Philadelphia Eagles were playing in the NFC Championship game the next week. I immediately changed my answer to relaxing the discipline on watching sports.
As a matter of full disclosure, I watched the Philadelphia Eagles faithfully for over 30 years before retiring from fandom 3 years ago. I just didn’t have a place for it in my life anymore. I thought I was done watching sports. However, I surprised myself when I made the snap decision to change my answer. Looking back on it now I can see what my motivations were at the time.
First, I wanted to do something that benefitted the team. We had relaxed the discipline on eating sweets the week before and I felt selfish for doing it two weeks in a row. I wanted to be fair to everyone in the fraternity. Also, several members of the fraternity already declared themselves to be huge football fans. This helped sway me but it wasn’t the only things.
I was also starting to get filled with nostalgia. Hearing everyone around the office start to talk about the Eagles brought back memories of watching the game. My family would go to my grandparents house every Sunday to watch the game with them and my uncles. Those were happy memories. I guess some part of me wanted to relive those memories with my kids. But I would be lying if I didn’t mention this final reason.
Curiosity had gotten the better of me. I genuinely wanted to watch the game. After decades of rooting for the Eagles, the fact that they were on the doorstep of going to the Superbowl was something special. And I wanted to be a part of it.
Predictably, my experience with football soured just as it had three years before. On the Friday before the big game several team members advocated to change fraternity meeting time so that they could watch their Kansas City Chiefs play. As a result, we moved the meeting time up by two hours. Unfortunately, the rescheduled fraternity meeting was in conflict with a brother’s childcare routine. He ended up missing a powerful meeting. We all shared our conversion stories. Each one of us had a unique and compelling reason to open ourself to Christ. The meeting was really moving and the fact that one brother was left out because of football was disappointing. This was not the only loss however.
Each one of us who watched the game suffered an opportunity cost. Personally, I shirked my duties as a husband to sit on the couch and watch the game. My wife reassured me that it was ok to sit and relax with her and the kids on the couch. Deep inside it was gnawing at me that I had work to do but was lounging instead. There was meal planning and grocery shopping to do, an article to finish, and a futon frame to assemble. All of these things were productive and worthwhile but didn’t get done because I chose to sit in front of the TV. This feeling of guilt was soon replaced with outrage.
The biggest reason why I regretted to watch the game was the advertisements. A majority of the time I watched “the game” I was actually watching marketing. The sheer quantity of commercials is enough to enrage any fan. But the worst part of the commercials is the messaging. Almost all of the advertisements were for goods or services that are antithetical to the Christian way of life. The messaging was clear: follow your desires, drink beer, buy a new car, eat junk food, buy your team’s gear and put it all on a credit card. I had nearly forgotten the main reason why I left football in the first place. I do not want my kids to grow up with this kind of messaging in their lives.
I started Exodus 90 to gain freedom from the desires that were preventing me from being a better Christian. When I carelessly chose to relax the sports prohibition, I failed to support my brothers and myself. I put the need to please them and my own selfish want for nostalgia ahead of a greater purpose. I put a snare in all of our paths that didn’t need to be there. One fraternity bother was alienated, and each of us gave up time we will never get back to watch a stupid game. I failed to support my brothers and won’t let this happen again. Although I am thankful that I watched game for this reason: I got a reminder of all the reasons that I quit in the first place. My curiosity has been satisfied. I will not be going back to football.